Tuesday, March 1, 2011

I am the mother of twins

 My twins are 32 years old today.  Do any other mothers feel like each of their children's birthdays is also a birthday for them?  I do.  I remember so clearly waking up at 7 a.m. that day and telling my husband, "this is it, we need to go to the hospital."   And at 2:02 p.m., my first daughter was born.  At 2:07, the second daughter made her appearance.  And sometime after that, the doctor said "There's another one."  I freaked out.  It was a stillborn baby.  Not fully developed.  He died sometime months before the birth.  I think I know when.  I had the flu and had a couple of contractions.  I think that was when he died.  

So, today, my daughters are 32.  And I am 32 years older than the 27 years old I was that day.  Their father and I have been divorced for 25 years.   I feel like I am a hundred years old today.

I took the day off today so that I could cook a big meal.  But I am not cooking.   I am not sure who is coming over tonight since there was a disagreement yesterday that got ugly.  I didn't sleep well last night since I was having nightmares.

We all love one another.  We are very close.  One of my daughters is a problem child and always has been.  She is doing well now but she has decided to be difficult about her birthday.  My other daughter is hurt and angry that her sister is going to "ruin MY birthday one more year."  

We will make the best of whatever we have to celebrate today.  It will break my heart if it is only with one daughter.  But I will save my tears for another day.  

Life gets so complicated sometimes.  I would prefer a nice simple straightforward family, but that is not what I have got.  So I will pray for God's blessings and make the best of what reality is today.
Post Script:  Twin A talked Twin B into going with us to the Ethiopian Restaurant tonight.  This is one of our favorite family things to do.  So, I am happy about that - and happy that I have taken a day off to cook, but instead, I have a day off to do nothing!!!


  1. Mary Catherine, life sure does get complicated sometimes...a LOT of the time. I know this lesson quite well. God bless you and I pray your night our will be full of love and laughter! ♥

  2. Mary Catherine,
    Enjoy your night out...you definitely deserve it :)

  3. To this day, my sister and I find it difficult to get along, tho to be totally honest, since my reversion, I've learned to ignore most of what she does and says. I'm glad your "problem child" came around and hope you will enjoy a nice dinner and a night out of the kitchen. I like the new look of your blog, btw.

  4. Oy! I called you Mary Catherine!! And led Mary 333 to do it too! SO Sorry! Please forgive my addled brain! I know full well your name.
    If it's any excuse at all, and I doubt it, I think I may have Epstein-Barr, and I am wiped out most of the time. I was at the doc and had the blood drawn today, so I should know pretty soon.

    You are so sweet not to point out my mistake.♥

  5. I LOVE Ethiopian! I'm glad you are all going together. Secondly, you're not alone with the complicated family. Our daughter- someday you all will hear the stories of her youth. If nothing else, life is interesting when you have a problem child. Third, the math-my weakness!!! I'm counting on my fingers, adding, subtracting and just when I've got it . . . you throw in 100! (LOL). Have a wonderful night.

    Kelly- I'll say a prayer for you and your family --and everyone else above!

  6. Happy birthday to the twins! Love the new layout, especially this shade of green. And the trifold icon is beautiful.

  7. Kelly, I get called Mary Catherine a lot! I think it is a beautiful name. One of my favorite nuns as a child was Sr. Mary Catherine.

    Not to worry...

  8. Relationships do get difficult at times dont they!Difficult too, to be a referee.Not sure what you might eat at an Ethiopian restaurant,dont think we have them here!

  9. Oh, and thank you so much everyone for your prayers and your lovely comments.

    The birthday dinner was glorious. I got to watch my daughters sit together and giggle. I have not seen that for years. It was wonderful.

    And the day off was just what I needed. It was so nice to just have a day where I didn't have to do anything. Phew! Nice!

  10. SO happy it was a good evening, and now a good memory!
    and Kathy--thank you for your prayers!

  11. I can identify with much of the problems you speak of, but I won't go into them here as today has been a good day so far.

    As I once heard a lady of forty two years sobriety share, when speaking of a forty one year rift with her son, that had just been healed..."I don't dial for pain, I stayed sober and waited for God to act".

    That made me feel less frantic about the fragmented relationships in my life. I just need to keep trusting God, easier said than done ofcourse.

  12. I apologize too, Mary Christine! I had just finished reading the comment that was left and did it automatically! This is what I mean when I say I am scatterbrained! I really am!

  13. Having said that, I am very glad you enjoyed the birthday dinner with your girls :)