Yesterday the sun shone so splendidly. Several of my tulips flowered. Many of the leaves on the trees have burst forth. And today it snows. We need moisture of any form desperately, so I shan't complain, not even if it freezes my lilacs.
I am extremely out of sorts today. I have withdrawn to my home. I made a pot of soup, and it is bubbling away on the stove. I will nap in a minute. I have two weeks of Bible School homework to complete before class tomorrow night. Including the first part of Revelation.
My son left the US on Friday morning. Heading for Kuwait, and from there, they will send him where they need him. Likely Afghanistan or Iraq. Or maybe even Kuwait. I could live with that. Iraq would be my second choice. When my son called to tell me he was about to get on the plane, I actually acted the fool and told him there was still time to change his mind. It is not like when he was in active duty and that would have constituted desertion. But he is a man, and a good man, and he is going off to support his family and provide for their future in the best way he could find. And I need say no more.
I feel like I am treading water... trying as hard as I can to stay above. My fear would like to drag me under. Thank God I have prayer. Thank God I have an entire church with something to do every single day. Last night I went to adoration at an hour that is way past my normal bedtime. But I needed to be in the presence of the Lord. and I needed to pray a rosary.
I can no longer watch television. I tried on Friday night and started yelling at the television when they reported on the UN workers beheaded because of the attention whore in Florida and the media who acted as his "johns". So, I flipped channels and watched a TV show I had never seen before - Celebrity Apprentice. I think I will get to be a lot more familiar with EWTN programming in these months.
This morning at mass, I guess we rolled out our parish "mission." We have a guest priest from anther state who will be here all week and gave today's homily. It was so full of references to TV shows, I was totally lost. I think it is sad when you need to understand the premise for "Two and a Half Men" to understand the homily at mass. I have never watched that show and I am certain I never will. And I have a bias against priests who stroll around the church with their cordless microphones.
And out of control children who are not expected to at least TRY to sit still and shut up. I know most four year olds are not likely to (although my grandchildren can sit perfectly still and quiet for an hour because I prepare them in advance that it is the expectation and amazingly enough, they do it). I was taught from the time I was an infant that you just were quiet and still at mass... I got hauled out a few times and spanked for deviating from that.
I had one in front of me today, just chattering and running up and down the seat of the pew in front of me throughout the whole mass. At one point, I covered my face with my hands in an effort to block out the distraction and focus on the consecration at the altar.
I will take a nap now and hope that my mood will lift. I am not sleeping well and I am feeling very alone. Despite a day full of friends and family yesterday. I think I am just desolate over my son being gone.
I meditated for a while on an icon in the adoration chapel yesterday. The Virgin Mary, holding the infant Jesus, with a mournful look on her face. Almost all icons of Mary and baby Jesus look like that. I wish there were one that had Mary with a peaceful smile on her face, enjoying her baby. Before he grew and was brutally killed.
Enough out of me! Enjoy your Sunday everyone and may God bless you.