Sunday, April 3, 2011

April Sunday

Yesterday the sun shone so splendidly.  Several of my tulips flowered.  Many of the leaves on the trees have burst forth.  And today it snows.  We need moisture of any form desperately, so I shan't complain, not even if it freezes my lilacs.  

I am extremely out of sorts today.  I have withdrawn to my home.  I made a pot of soup, and it is bubbling away on the stove.  I will nap in a minute.  I have two weeks of Bible School homework to complete before class tomorrow night.  Including  the first part of Revelation. 

My son left the US on Friday morning.  Heading for Kuwait, and from there, they will send him where they need him.  Likely Afghanistan or Iraq.  Or maybe even Kuwait.  I could live with that.  Iraq would be my second choice. When my son called to tell me he was about to get on the plane, I actually acted the fool and told him there was still time to change his mind.  It is not like when he was in active duty and that would have constituted desertion.  But he is a man, and a good man,  and he is going off to support his family and provide for their future in the best way he could find.  And I need say no more.  

I feel like I am treading water... trying as hard as I can to stay above.  My fear would like to drag me under.  Thank God I have prayer.  Thank God I have an entire church with something to do every single day.  Last night I went to adoration at an hour that is way past my normal bedtime.  But I needed to be in the presence of the Lord. and I needed to pray a rosary.  

I can no longer watch television.  I tried on Friday night and started yelling at the television when they reported on the UN workers beheaded because of the attention whore in Florida and the media who acted as his "johns".  So, I flipped channels and watched a TV show I had never seen before - Celebrity Apprentice.  I think I will get to be a lot more familiar with EWTN programming in these months.  

This morning at mass, I guess we rolled out our parish "mission."  We have a guest priest from anther state who will be here all week and gave today's homily.  It was so full of references to TV shows, I was totally lost.  I think it is sad when you need to understand the premise for "Two and a Half Men" to understand the homily at mass.  I have never watched that show and I am certain I never will.   And I have a bias against priests who stroll around the church with their cordless microphones.  

And out of  control children who are not expected to at least TRY to sit still and shut up.  I know most four year olds are not likely to (although my grandchildren can sit perfectly still and quiet for an hour because I prepare them in advance that it is the expectation and amazingly enough, they do it).  I was taught from the time I was an infant that you just were quiet and still at mass... I got hauled out a few times and spanked for deviating from that.  

I had one in front of me today, just chattering and running up and down the seat of the pew in front of me throughout the whole mass.  At one point, I covered my face with my hands in an effort to block out the distraction and focus on the consecration at the altar.    

I will take a nap now and hope that my mood will lift.  I am not sleeping well and I am feeling very alone.  Despite a day full of friends and family yesterday.  I think I am just desolate over my son being gone.

I meditated for a while on an icon in the adoration chapel yesterday.  The Virgin Mary, holding the infant Jesus, with a mournful look on her face.  Almost all icons of Mary and baby Jesus look like that.  I wish there were one that had Mary with a peaceful smile on her face, enjoying her baby.  Before he grew and was brutally killed.  

Enough out of me!  Enjoy your Sunday everyone and may God bless you.  


  1. I think it is so wrong for others to deprive us of the reason we come to Mass. I'm with you. While I love the sound of children, badly behaved children is another story. There is a big difference between a baby's sweet babbling and a badly spoiled child whose parents don't believe in teaching their children what's right.

    I just offered my Holy Hour for you and your son. That was before I read this post. Not only do I pray for his safety, but I also pray for you to be released from your fear.

    May the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, keep your heart and your mind in the knowledge and love of God and His Son Jesus Christ, Our Lord.

    You are not alone, in more ways than one. Sending a hug and many prayers your way.

  2. I will also keep you and your family in my prayers.
    By the way, there is a wonderful statue of Our Lady in the Philadelphia Museum of Art. She is holding the Christ child, and they both have wonderful smiles on their faces--she's almost laughing, really.
    I believe you can see this on Father Barron's trailer for his documentary on Catholicism.

    Peace to you.

  3. I'll be keeping you and your family in my prayers. It is sometimes difficult to concentrate at mass, I agree. There is a priest at a nearby church that stutters badly. To overcome this he both speaks and paces up and down the main and side aisles very quickly-rapidly. He is supposed to be a wonderful person but I just can't attend. I can't figure out what he is saying it's so fast and the pacing keeps you twisting and turning. Good luck with the homework.

  4. Two and a Half Men is possibly the worst TV show ever. It is complete trash. I've never watched a full episode, but it seems to be everywhere along the dial in re-runs. Every other sentence is some low life sexual reference. I hope the priest was condeming it in his homily, not praising it. Try to feel better Mary.

  5. Oddly enough I had this same conversation about how sad Our Lady always looks in paintings, with a friend, last Saturday. It stops her from getting close to Mary as a real alive person, which I believe she is, in heaven ofcourse. I said I would look out for a positive image but haven't found one yet. I did mention the Medjugorge image of Mary, but she threw me a very odd look!

    I don't know how to fix your pain regarding your son, other than to tell you to offer the fear and anxiety itself, as your prayer to God. As Catholics especially, we know that suffering bears fruit. The bit after the Our Father can be a healing prayer, I have found

    "Deliver us Lord, from every evil and grant us peace in our days. In your mercy, keep us free from sin and protect us from ALL ANXIETY as we wait in joyful hope, for the coming of our saviour, Jesus Christ".

    There must be many mothers in your position, I bet there's a blogging community of them out there? Possibly even group meetings? Or else Mary C, maybe you can start one!

    As for two and a half men, I have never seen it either, but I think charlie 'tiger blood' sheen is in it? He is fast becoming a hero over here. My son says he is up for presidency of the USA?

  6. Last night's news had a blurb on troops, and a mom making packages to send to any and all troops. It was her calling, so to speak.
    But there was a sign at the top of my TV that caught my eyes in the story. It said:

    I thought of your son when I saw that!

    I have read your post and the myriad pick ups and snippets in comments from that post. We all seem to dwell on a portion; the whole picture is hard to see.

    So I will dwell on this portion, as the others have been covered above in commentary.

    Note that we serve a God who is present everywhere. Our personal preferences for where your son moves to,.... comes from a human view.
    God has a larger eye on the matter.

    David went out to battle Goliath because David could not understand how believer's would allow this Philistine to mock God. And he set out to correct the matter, with no weapons whatsoever.
    Off David went after Goliath!

    If you read that story in your Bible, Mary, you will find a peculiar observation. David had a sling, but no stones.
    He picked them up along the way!
    The weapons required to do battle, were supplied by God as David proceeded to his station to do battle.

    God's love of your son, is the same love He had for David. The weapons your son needs to do battle, will be provided by God along the way, and your son will astonish you with stories one day, as the two of you sit talking, over a bowl of soup.....the same soup that you made this past weekend,... as he went out to do battle.

    We "Live In The Land of the Free.....
    because of the BRAVE!"
    Tell your son I said "Thank You" to him.

    On random observations as above:
    1) I never saw Two and a Half Men, but any TV show is a poor script for a homily. Give your priest a Bible and ask him to find stories there.

    2) I sit in the front row, or second, in order to read lips. Few Masses are "signed", and the Bishop's gal that handles this department advised me to go to a "signing" church. It is 65 miles one way. I passed on that, and get communion locally, but it does seem strange that priests do their exercise programs and run all over, turning their back on 90% of the people to connect to folks in the back.

    Later, he runs up front and turns his back to 90% in back area. Stand at the podium and do exercise at home, eh?

    3) It will be 63 here today, and snow tonight, so I relate to your swing moods and changes well. I have met too many flakes this year.... not all of them snow.

    4) What kind of soup did you make, so that you will remember to make the same,.... as your son returns next year, to tell you of Goliaths he met, and weapons provided by God to meet them?

    5) Ephesians 1:15-23 WOW!

  7. Ps. The site "Photos For Souls" has a picture of a smiling Mary on the First Christmas.
    Jesus is zonked out from all that being born work.

  8. Thank you everyone. Your prayers are greatly appreciated (and in my case - needed).

  9. I remembered you at adoration yesterday. Peace.