When I got home from work and Mass tonight, there was a package on my front porch. I prayed that it would be my new rosary. And I made myself do all my tasks before I opened the package. And before I opened it, I told myself, you will be disappointed. It is not going to be beautiful.
But I opened the box, and in it was the most beautiful rosary I have ever seen. It is heavy. It is large. The crucifix is silver, and the center (the miraculous medal) is too.
It feels like the rosary I will pray every day for the year my son is gone. Oh yes, I know I will still pray after he returns, but this feels like the right one to have in my hands for the hundreds of rosaries I will pray while he is gone.
Oh, I could beat myself up for loving beautiful things. But I have to be happy that I am excited about a beautiful rosary instead of a new piece of jewelry or other less "worthy" thing.
I have to go to another funeral tomorrow. A friend who drank himself to death. He was much too smart for AA. He didn't like coming to those "stupid meetings." I will have to shake the hands of his sons and tell them I am sorry. And I truly am sorry. What a waste.