St. Catherine of Siena - who suffered with joy
As I sit, trying to get my homework done for Biblical School, which needs to be done in one hour, I am contemplating suffering.
I left work today because my back hurt so bad I knew I needed to take a muscle relaxer and go to bed. Which I did. When I awoke, my back pain was tremendously decreased which actually surprised me. Unfortunately, it was joined by a migraine. I have a migraine which is also causing nausea.
I wonder if I should embrace these sufferings and try to suffer them with joy.
Or should I do what I normally do and try to endure without complaining too much and take medication if I can and try to get rid of whatever ails me? I do "offer up" my pains for the souls in purgatory, and always have. But that doesn't mean I wish to prolong them.
When I was a hateful "former" Catholic (which I don't believe you can ever really be), one of things I hated the most about our faith culture was the whole worship of suffering. I remember my mother and her friends talking about their friends and saying "oh, she has SUFFERED so!" as if that made her saintly. I didn't buy it.
But I am rethinking that and most things.
I would normally ask for your prayers. Maybe I should ask for prayers that my pain be extended? I don't feel that one in my heart - at all.