The Last Minutes of 2010

Some birds who came by this afternoon.

The end of the year is here.  Which, of course, also means that the beginning of another year is upon us.  I have spent the majority of my life being unbelievably morbid especially at New Year's Eve.  I grew up with a very ill father.  I don't know how many times he had the Last Rites before he left us for good.  But every new year was a year I wondered  "is my Dad going to die this year?"    I was terrified of that eventuality.  Of course, he did die, but he was 81 at the time.  I managed to live through 40 years where my daddy didn't die.  And all that wasted energy and unhappiness in the meantime!  

At work, people have been saying "I hope 2011 is a better year!"  I look at them and wonder what they are hoping for.  2010 was a dreadful year at the hospital.  Half of the hospital was closed.  My assistant's job was abolished, I had to tell her that after 28 years, she no longer had a job.  That wasn't fun.  But I did manage to hang on to my job as did everyone else who is now wishing that 2011 is better than 2010.

2010 was just fine.  I logged nearly 600 miles of running on this old body.  I quit drinking Diet Pepsi - for Lent - and never started again.  I still want one every single day.  I had another year without a drink of alcohol - which makes 26 of them all in a row now.  It is nearly 20 years since I have had a cigarette!  Now, that is just crazy, because I didn't even want to quit!  

My son got married!  And his wife had a baby girl!!!  My son is a father!  He is a wonderful father!  Psalm 128 has an entirely new meaning to me now.

I am in my fourth year of Biblical School.  I will graduate in May 2011.  I don't know what that means, other than now I know how much I don't know.  But I also realize that I have learned a lot.  There is just so much to learn.  And I only have this lifetime to learn it in.  And I have wasted so much of my lifetime.  

I am sure I could go on and on, but it would be boring... and I don't want to test your patience.

Tonight I am going out with friends to a Chinese restaurant.  The place will close to the general public at 7:30 and then "we" will take over.  Oh, we have so much fun.  None of us drink, we will be out of there by 10 p.m. at the latest, but we have intense fun while we are there.  A whole restaurant full of us.

Tomorrow I will babysit my little tiny granddaughter for the first time.  And I will make a cheesecake for a party later in the evening.  And I will try to get to mass at 5 p.m., but it may have to wait until Sunday early morning.

My life is so full and happy.  Oh, I could complain.  I wish Mr. Right would come along.  But I have entertained too many Mr. Rights in my lifetime, and am now in the process of trying to get that untangled in the church.  Encouraged that the Archdiocese of Chicago took an automatic payment out of my checking account yesterday - the first payment that I agreed to.  For my annulment.  Does that mean it is happening?  Wouldn't that be something?  I have been working on this for 3 years.

I have things I want to happen in 2011, but I will think about that tomorrow.

"Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself.  Let the day's own trouble be sufficient for the day."  Matthew 6:34